


The Best Worst Game

by Measured



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 08:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5122001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/pseuds/Measured
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hell was other people playing Gargoyles and Gravel badly. Actually, Scout had been to hell a couple of times, and this was far worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Worst Game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leidolette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leidolette/gifts).



> So, in the latest comic there's  
> [few](http://www.teamfortress.com/gargoyles_and_gravel/#f=8)  
> [scenes](http://www.teamfortress.com/gargoyles_and_gravel/#f=12) I felt I had to expand on, because they needed more of Scout drawing hearts around her name,
> 
> Betaed by Kikilicious.

Hell was other people playing Gargoyles and Gravel badly. Actually, Scout had been to hell a couple of times, and this was far worse. It was one thing running circles around people and carrying the team like usual, but being the only person who knew how to play the damned game, and having to watch Miss Pauling's masterpiece be ruined by Soldier ignoring the obvious trap and getting them all killed again and again was wearing thin.

Soldier still hadn't figured out that the cursed amulet that killed them all _two damn times in a row_ was frigging evil, and Heavy was just as hopeless. Neither of them got the theme was fantasy, and had brought in the wrong kind of weapons. They didn't even stop to admire his elf's high charisma. He'd prepared so many good puns to impress Miss Pauling with, too.

It was a huge pile of bullshit, all except for their Gravel Master. She was so patient and adorable in her custom Ghastly Gibbous and purple overcoat. The night air had flushed her cheeks, and she couldn't help but grin as she read out the rules and narrated her scene.

Then again, it was her. She could make reading a phone book cute. In fact, if people sold tickets for that event, he'd buy the show out himself, and enjoy her going through a list of Addams to Zeigfrieds.

He already knew she was incredibly smart and capable and cute, but a girl who would play Gargoyles and Gravel with him, and probably kick his ass at it in the process? He was surprised the world didn't crack with this amount of perfection in one woman.

He was dying to go one on one with her in a campaign, just to see what kind of rogue or elven archer or warrior she went for.

"Talk about somebody breakin' the mold when they were born," Scout said under his breath.

"We already know there's mold, she just told us!" Soldier slammed his hand on the table. "Tell me more about the goblins!" 

Scout drew back as Soldier slammed his hand on the table again.

"I was just getting to it, Soldier. The moldy door is slightly ajar..."

He'd heard the intro three times now, so Scout tuned out on her instructions, and just focused to the way her mouth pronounced the words, the sound of her voice, and dark hue of her lipstick.

He'd never known a girl with such kissable lips. One of these days he'd get to verify just how kissable they were, when she had more than two seconds off, and he wasn't busy being dead, almost dead, or just plain being awesome.

Heavy crossed his arms, and didn't go for the dice at all. In fact, he completely ignored the backstory, and treated the dice like they were frigging cursed. Miss Pauling had so lovingly created for them, and just ran in to shoot things. They shot things every day and didn't ask questions. The worst part was he had a plan, and those chuckleheads kept ruining it. He was going to inspect every part of that dungeon, and really show Miss Pauling that he appreciated all the work she did thinking it up. And he was going to be so witty and dashing that she'd be completely impressed.

Also, he was going to show her just how much care went into his elfin rogue archer. He hoped she played an elf too, then they could match. His build had a ton of charisma and agility, almost as much as he had in real life. 

"You do not need dice. You have my word. I will kill the goblins," Heavy said.

Scout buried his face in his hands. The dice was at least half the point of the game. Well, that and math and imagination. Lucky for him, Miss Pauling did all the math for them, and most of the imagination. She also brought along some frigging wicked sweet dice. He was just waiting to get his hands on those babies again, crystalline optimized multi-die set of such high quality that it must've been specially ordered. He'd never found anything like it in the corner comic shops he always visited on his time off.

Sure, he'd played a few games with the geeks down by the corner. Mostly because they tried to put one over on him, implying that he couldn't do the math. He couldn't, but a spiked bat helped pass grades and games alike.

That's how he got to high school. At least until he got expelled from enough schools that he stopped trying. Who needed a piece of paper, anyways? All the paper he had was from all the money he was making, and he didn't need any college education for that.

Plus, he'd get to hear her voice again. He'd tried to keep tapes of missions and contracts, but they'd just been found and destroyed while he was out in the showers. Then he'd had to deal with disciplinary action, water torture, all the stuff they got for keeping TF Industries info.

It was worth it just to hear _Good Job, Scout_ once more.

And when the game went to hell again because Soldier kept grabbing for that amulet, all he could do is take one last glance at her, so cute in that costume that he had no idea what it was, but was perfect anyways. _Do it for her_ , he thought, just before he slammed his hand to the table, sending crystalline dice scattering across the board.

*

All in all, he wasn't surprised when he got choked, or when their party got gatecrashed by a mafia and a wizard. He was even less surprised when the creatures appeared. A green light shone in the sky, and a black cloud of winged-bat eyes flew up out . By Scout's estimation, they were headed for another apocalypse. He knew his apocolypses, too. He'd been through Eyepocalypse, Breadpocalypse, Robocolypse, and they were all still kicking. At this rate, saving the day was just another thing they did before bedtime.

Well, that and a whole lot of killing.

Scout fired off a shot, catching a monster unaware. The winged eye looked like something straight out of Miss Pauling's Gargoyles and Gravel world. He preferred hers a lot more, though at least this time, Soldier and Heavy were actually doing a good job of killing monsters.

She'd separated from the rest of the group. Doc and Heavy were off leading a charge, Soldier was flying through the sky, and Scout was about to make his move.

He tried to slick back his hair, when he remembered that he'd chosen the chicken suit this year. It'd been half bet, and half to see how many 'cock' jokes he could make in one night. He'd beat his record at thirty-four, and he hadn't even gotten slapped once for it.

Plus, he always had good luck with fried chicken. Like a special pair of boxers someone wore on game day, he knew cluck was his luck.

"You sure you wanna be out here, Miss Pauling? Not that you can't handle yourself, but it's pretty cold," Scout said.

"I can't let you guys have all the fun," she said.

More of the winged bat eyes came diving on them. Miss Pauling made six shots, and each one of those things fell down and turned to dust. He let out a low whistle. That girl could shoot, that was for sure.

"Hey, so Miss Pauling, you're seriously the best Gravel Master I've ever played with. Sorry that those buffoons kept messin' up your game. I didn't mean it was stupid at all, just the guys were drivin' me up the _wall_ That was some seriously great worldbuildin' and storytellin' right there. It felt like I was right in that moldy old dungeon, fightin' those goblins! Like I expected them to aim for my face and everythin'. And they kept frickin' ruinin' it before I could even enjoy how good a scene you were settin'!"

"I didn't think it'd be your kind of thing," she said.

"Oh, these eggheads down at the comic shop said I couldn't, so I proved 'em wrong. I've been playin' to piss off comic shop nerds ever since."

And to flirt with Miss Pauling, of course.

"We should do this again sometime, but lose those two. They're dead weights," Scout said.

"Scout, we're kind of busy right now--" She caught another bat monster unaware, bursting it into ash and flying pieces.

"Oh yeah, I don't mean this second. But later. We'll go for a campaign that ain't dragged down. You didn't even get to see much of my Elfin Archer, and I can assure you he's almost as cool as I am," she said.

"I suppose we could go down to the comic shop when I have free time. Which unfortunately is almost never," she said.

"Hey, one of these days your vacation day isn't goin' to be stolen away, and then we'll have the best campaign known to man. It's goin' to go down in history. Kids will hate us because they aren't as awesome as us, and also we took up at least twenty pages. And that for just the Gargoyle and Gravel game alone."

She laughed. "You always make things sound like an adventure. You'd even frame walking down the hall with me as some kind of grand journey."

"Hey, with _me_ , they are. Besides, walkin' with you sounds pretty fun, even if it's just two doors down," Scout said. 

"Well, let's finish _this_ adventure together before we start on another one," she said.

"Together? _Another?_ " Scout's heart went into overdrive. Such beautiful words on her lips. Almost as wonderful as hearing her say his name. "Yeah, sure! I got your back!" Scout said.

Back to back, they shot hoards of those monsters. He glanced back and smiled. She smiled back. Behind them there were unholy screams of a wizard's curse, souls release. Heavy was out there laughing like it was payday. Mowing down the creatures and keeping this world together just a little longer. All in all, it was a pretty typical Halloween. 

End of the world or not, he'd take all the curses he could find if it meant he got to spend a little quality time with her.


End file.
